Congress Installed Self-Checkout for Accountability

Republican leaders keep marketing themselves like democracy’s customer-support desk, then the public opens the settings menu and finds the real product is insider protection with push notifications. Ordinary people get rules, fees, paperwork, lectures, and the glowing “agree” button; the powerful appear to get exemptions, privacy screens, and a premium tier called Nobody Look Over Here.

It is the same platform trick, just wearing a flag pin: promise transparency, bury the useful switches, then call the hidden surcharge an “experience.” If Congress had a cancel-subscription page for self-dealing, it would ask us to verify our identity, mail a notarized form, wait six to eight ethics cycles, and then auto-renew us into another Terms of Surrender.