Genetic Engineering Boomerang: Apples Now Resistant to Humans!
In a twist that has biologists, nutritionists, and fruit lovers reeling, the latest batch of genetically engineered apples has declared war on humanity. Yes, you read that right. The apples are fighting back, and they’re not taking prisoners.
For years, scientists have played molecular mix-and-match, endowing fruits with longer shelf lives, vibrant colors, and the ability to perform basic arithmetic. Yet, in the pursuit of the perfect apple, it seems they’ve created a Frankensteinian fruit.
“They’re just not taking our bites anymore!” exclaimed Dr. Gala McIntosh, lead scientist at BioFruit Labs, while nursing a bruised ego and a slightly nibbled finger.
Every attempt to sink teeth into these juicy fruits has been met with unprecedented resistance. The apples, equipped with a newly evolved skin, harder than the questions on a quantum physics exam, are defying consumption.
“It’s like they’ve evolved to resist human teeth,” puzzled Johnny Applebite, a once-proud fruit enthusiast who’s been rendered apple-less. “My dentist is on speed dial!”
The GMO fiasco has opened up a can of bioengineered worms, leading to a surge in popularity for classic, non-mutant apples. Organic fruit farmers are enjoying their time in the sun, their produce now considered less a luxury and more a necessity for those seeking a bite without a fight.
As for the future of these rebellious fruits, talks are underway to deploy them as a natural, eco-friendly alternative for home security. Why invest in surveillance cameras when an apple a day could keep both doctors and burglars at bay?
While scientists scramble to unscramble the genetic omelette they’ve cooked up, one thing is abundantly clear – in the epic battle of man versus nature, nature just fired back with an arsenal of apples.
Reader’s Note: Enjoy this article with a grain of salt and a slice of non-resistant apple pie, both of which are yet to join the rebellion.
