The 2020 Election, According to the Three-Term Math Department
The calendar has entered witness protection, because the Three-Term Math Department is trying to turn 2016, 2020, and 2024 into a flawless winning streak. The record is less mystical: won, lost, won. That is two victories and one defeat, not three wins wearing a fake mustache. Somewhere, authoritarian arithmetic is pointing dramatically at the scoreboard and demanding that the losing square be reclassified as an administrative compliment.
That is the civic danger beneath the absurdity. When election denial gets repeated loudly enough—and polished by friendly media fog machines—a clear loss is treated like paperwork that can be revised by confidence. Ordinary voters should not have to live inside somebody else’s alternate-history spreadsheet. The newsroom raccoon is guarding the nation’s last calculator, while the Three-Term Math Department applies for accreditation. Until then, the answer remains stubbornly unglamorous: two wins, one loss, second term—not whatever the power fantasy ordered.