The Economy Shrinks and Trump Blames Biden’s Ghost

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By Justin Jest
Filed on Day 101 of the world’s most chaotic power trip

WASHINGTON, D.C. — On his 101st day back in office, Donald Trump stood at a podium, stared down the barrel of a cratering economy, and did what he does best: pointed fingers like a toddler after knocking over a priceless vase. The GDP just took a nosedive—down 4.3%, the worst quarterly contraction in three years—and Trump swears it’s Biden’s fault.

“Those numbers? That’s not Trump,” he mumbled to a room of reporters. “That’s Biden. We came in January. This is quarterly. That’s not me.”
Translation: He’s not responsible for the house burning, he just lit the match and held the gas can.

Let’s talk about what’s really happening.

🧨 Tariffs: Trump’s Favorite Economic Grenade

This quarter’s shrinkage didn’t come out of nowhere. It came from Trump’s tariff obsession, which has now matured into a full-blown economic acid trip. Businesses scrambled to stockpile imports before costs spike again. Consumers hesitated, wages froze, and uncertainty curled around the market like smoke from a dumpster fire.

Economists across the board—yes, real ones, not TruthSocial randos—agree: the tariff chaos is the root rot. Even Trump’s own former top economic ghoul, Peter Navarro, accidentally told the truth on CNBC:

“You strip out inventories and the negative effects of the surge in imports because of the tariffs, you had 3% growth.”

Read that again. “Negative effects… because of the tariffs.” That’s the quiet part they usually say in private rooms filled with incense and Ayn Rand novels.

📉 The “Best Negative Print Ever”

Navarro also called this GDP collapse the “best negative print” he’s ever seen. That’s like describing a heart attack as the “best chest pain episode of the decade.” It’s delusion dressed as optimism—the hallmark of MAGAnomics.

Liberation Day? More like Liberate Your Retirement Account From Value Day. And now Trump wants to crank up the tariffs even more. Why? Because admitting they failed would be the one thing he’s never done: take responsibility.

🧠 No Plan. No Policy. No Pulse.

Reporters asked: What’s the actual economic policy behind all this? Silence. More tariffs? Maybe. Tax cuts? Possibly. Infrastructure? Eh.
But the truth is, there is no plan. Just sales pitches, hashtags, and some vague announcement about a “deal with India” that hasn’t happened and probably never will.

Even Trump’s own Treasury Secretary is reportedly scrambling behind the scenes, trying to wring a half-baked international agreement out of thin air just to have something to show voters before the next poll drop.

And while Trump spins like a used car dealer hopped up on crushed Adderall and Reagan nostalgia, 71% of Americans say the economy is poor. Because it is. Because they feel it every time they walk into Target, check the gas pump, or realize summer camp for the kids is now a luxury item.

💬 What’s the Plan, Donnie?

We’re now 101 days into Trump’s second round, and here’s what we’ve got:

  • A shrinking economy
  • Soaring tariffs
  • Zero coherent policy
  • A president blaming ghosts
  • And a Wall Street that looks like it just watched a horror movie with the lights off

But hey—he did promise he’d end the Ukraine war in 24 hours. That hasn’t happened either. Neither has the resurgence of manufacturing. Or the energy boom. Or the cheaper prices. Or anything, really, except fear and finger-pointing.

So yeah, the economy’s shrinking. And Trump says it’s not his fault.
But if the GDP tanks on your watch, your policies triggered it, and you’re still bragging while it burns?

You don’t need a scapegoat. You need a mirror.

—

Justin Jest
Crisis Correspondent, Economic Sadist, and Full-Time Bullsh*t Antidote
Still waiting for trickle-down to trickle anywhere but the drain

Let me know if you want sidebar quotes or a comment to drop with this.

Gonzo Journalist, Reluctant Realist, Connoisseur of Chaos

Journalism’s Last Wild Card

In a world of press releases masquerading as news and algorithm-fed mediocrity, Justin Jest is the last outlaw of journalism—a writer who trades in truth, chaos, and the kind of gut-punch revelations that leave the reader dazed, enraged, and somehow hungover. Jest doesn’t just report the news; he detonates it, scattering the wreckage across the minds of his readers like shrapnel from a well-placed truth bomb.

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Caffeine Intake: Beyond measurable limits; bloodstream classified as a hazardous material.

Life Mantra: "If you’re not pissing off the powerful, you’re not doing it right."

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