The Second First 100 Days: Trump’s Victory Lap Through a Burning Country
By Justin Jest
Filed from the smoking crater of what used to be the Executive Branch
WASHINGTON, D.C. —
If you squint hard enough and swallow the propaganda whole, you’d think Donald J. Trump’s “Second First 100 Days” were a golden age of American greatness. That’s exactly how Trump describes them, calling this chaotic sequel the “greatest 100 days of any presidency—maybe ever.” The only thing more absurd than the claim is how disturbingly on-brand it is.
Let’s recap what really happened. Not the press release version. The raw, bloody, bureaucratically deranged truth.
📜 Executive Orders: Now With Less Law and More Spite
Trump spent his first hundred days in his second term like a man trying to set a Guinness World Record for executive orders that sound like fever dreams. He’s tried to rewrite the Constitution from the Resolute Desk: banning birthright citizenship, gutting asylum law, and laying the groundwork to dismantle FEMA because, quote, “the states should toughen up.”
He greenlit mass deportations, including of legal residents and students, fast-tracked under the dusty Alien Enemies Act—because nothing says “law and order” like ignoring court rulings and deporting people with pending cases. One Supreme Court-mandated return? Ignored. Due process? Optional. Public outrage? Dismissed as “fake news by communists.”
🏛️ Congress: A Rubber Stamp With a Trump 2028 Sticker
With a Republican-controlled Congress too terrified to look him in the eye, Trump has reshaped government into a performance art piece called “Loyalty or Get Out.” The REINS Act? Passed. It lets him kill any regulation not explicitly approved by Congress. Environmental rules? Gone. Consumer protections? Vaporized. Antitrust enforcement? Consolidated under his DOJ cronies—because billionaires need hugs too.
Oh, and they’re trying to abolish the PCAOB, because who needs independent financial oversight when you’ve got vibes and vibes alone?
🚨 FEMA, IRS, and the Federal Guillotine
He floated abolishing the IRS and replacing it with a national sales tax—because taxing bread the same as yachts makes sense if you’re fundamentally allergic to the working class. Meanwhile, his budget proposal guts FEMA, and now even his red-state allies like Sarah Huckabee Sanders are begging for disaster relief while he plays golf and forgets they exist.
So far, he’s denied disaster aid to blue states and to Arkansas. Loyalty isn’t even currency anymore—it’s wallpaper.
☠️ ICE, Death, and the American Gulag
Seven people have died in ICE custody since October. Trump’s solution? Cut oversight. Privatize more. Deport faster. A Haitian woman, Marie Ange Blaise, died in chains after being transferred between hellholes with no medical care for 10 weeks. Trump didn’t mention her once. His base never asked. America just shrugged.
🧨 Culture War as Governance
Trump’s first 100 days redux have also been a nonstop holy war against immigrants, LGBTQ+ people, public education, and anyone with a mask or a library card. Statehouses are passing anti-trans, anti-drag, anti-voter laws like it’s a competition to see who can wind the clock back to 1953 the fastest. And Trump cheers them on, one TruthSocial post at a time, in all caps.
🧠 Cognitive Stability: Unconfirmed
He’s contradicted himself in single sentences. Slurred through pressers. Referred to nonexistent legislation. Floated repealing the 22nd Amendment. But the Cabinet won’t invoke the 25th—because they were chosen for their loyalty, not their IQ. The president may not be mentally sharp, but his grip on power? Razor-edged.
Trump’s Second First 100 Days weren’t just bad. They were a masterclass in demolition.
Institutions? Broken. Rights? Trampled. Logic? Replaced by paranoia and fanboy applause.
He didn’t drain the swamp. He dredged it, weaponized it, and named it after himself.
If this is what “great” looks like, then so was Pompeii.
Justin Jest
Truth-slinger. Constitution-mourner. Banned from every press room and still reporting louder than all of them.
Brace yourself, America. The next 100 days will make these look like the tutorial level.
