Trump’s Ukraine Peace Plan: “Give Putin What He Wants and Call It a Win”
The war in Ukraine is nearly three years old, but according to Trump, peace is just a phone call away—or at least a well-timed press release away from looking like he’s solving world peace while handing Putin everything he wants.
On February 12, Trump decided to play peacemaker and held separate calls with Vladimir Putin and Volodymyr Zelenskyy, declaring that “both want peace.” Which is an interesting interpretation, considering one of them started the war and is still bombing Ukrainian cities, but sure, let’s roll with it.
The Trump Doctrine: Surrender Before the Talks Even Begin
After his back-to-back calls, Trump ordered U.S. officials to start peace negotiations, led by a crack team of hardline America Firsters, including Secretary of State Marco Rubio—because nothing says diplomatic finesse like a guy best known for awkwardly chugging water during a State of the Union response.
The first move?
✔ Push Ukraine to make “major concessions.”
✔ Signal that they won’t be getting back all of their occupied territory.
✔ Make it clear that joining NATO is off the table.
So, to recap: before negotiations even start, the U.S. is telling Ukraine to accept Russian occupation and stay out of NATO.
That’s like starting a hostage negotiation by telling the victim to just get comfortable with captivity—because, hey, resisting will only prolong the ordeal.
And leading the diplomatic charge?
✔ Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, best known for throwing an axe on live TV and hitting a West Point cadet.
According to Hegseth, the idea that Ukraine could reclaim all of its land or secure NATO membership is “unrealistic.”
Unrealistic?
- In 1940, it was “unrealistic” to think the Nazis could be stopped.
- In 1991, it was “unrealistic” to think the Soviet Union would collapse.
- And in 2022, it was “unrealistic” to think Ukraine could withstand Russia’s full-scale invasion.
And yet, here we are.
Trump and Putin: The Art of the Capitulation
If you were wondering who benefits most from this sudden peace push, here’s a clue:
✔ Trump has already secured Putin’s agreement to meet him for talks.
✔ Ukraine, meanwhile, is being told to sit quietly and be grateful for whatever scraps they get.
The planned Trump-Putin summit is likely to take place in a neutral territory—possibly Saudi Arabia, because of course the world’s premier autocracy-fixer would be the middleman for this circus.
European Allies: ‘Excuse Us, We’d Like a Say in This’
Meanwhile, Europe is not thrilled about Trump unilaterally deciding Ukraine’s fate like a shady landlord making backroom deals.
✔ European leaders immediately pushed back, reminding Trump that they actually have a stake in this conflict, seeing as it’s happening on their continent.
✔ They’re demanding security guarantees for Ukraine, fearing that Trump’s deal will be less ‘peace plan’ and more ‘surrender terms.’
What This Means: A Win for Putin, A Loss for Ukraine, A Headache for Europe
- Trump is treating Ukraine like a real estate dispute, not a war for sovereignty. He’s negotiating away land that isn’t his to give—but hey, when has that ever stopped him?
- Putin has no reason to stop fighting. Why would he, when Trump is giving him everything he wants before negotiations even start?
- Ukraine is being sidelined. They’ve been fighting and dying for their country, but now they’re being told to accept reality and “make peace.”
And let’s be honest—Trump isn’t negotiating peace. He’s auditioning for a Nobel Prize.
At this rate, don’t be surprised if the final “peace agreement” includes Trump Tower Moscow, a photo op with Putin, and a commemorative NFT collection titled “Winning Peace: The Art of the Steal.”
