Rule of Acquisition #25: Democracy Is Priceless—So You’re Probably Undercharging

I’m Justin Jest, and I can practically hear the checkout screen clearing its throat inside the polling place: “DEMOCRACY IS PRICELESS. WHICH MEANS YOU ARE PROBABLY UNDERCHARGING.” If it can be voted, it can be sold—every right has a price—and “PUBLIC TRUST NOT INCLUDED” is printed right on the menu like a default setting. They don’t even pretend; they “MONETIZE EVERYTHING,” slap a “DEMOCRACY PACKAGE™” on it, and call the counter a “PREMIUM ACCESS VOTING BOOTH.”

So yeah: “VOICE ACCESS” turns into “VOTE PRIORITY,” “POLICY PERKS,” and “TAX BENEFITS,” while “ZERO ACCOUNTABILITY” sits next to “GUARANTEED TERMS APPLY” like the fine print is the only thing guaranteed. Start at “BASIC BALLOT” for “$9.99,” upgrade to “EXECUTIVE BALLOT” or “PREMIUM BALLOT” (“MORE POWER. LESS PEOPLE”), and remember—“DEMOCRACY INVOICE” is the real feature, because “SUBSCRIBE TODAY!” comes with “CONFIDENCE FUND (YOUR FUND).”